So I sometimes go to my parents to help clean and tidy…I called my mum tonight to tell her we lost our cat and that pain and depression has settled over me like a giant instead of criticising us for letting cat outside, as I expected her to, she offered kind words and assured me he would come home, and listed the reasons why he would. She also didn’t insist on me coming to clean this weekend.
I think she first thought he … Did the “D” word (i don’t  want to say it out loud) but then realized that he was probably just a cat and just ran away for a little while. She said he has the life of luxeury here and how can any cat stay away from that? She understood my crying and said it’s like losing one of your own kids, like something significant and dear to you is gone.
She understood my emotional and physical pain, and wasn’t all doctor-ish as I thought she would be. (She is a doctor and when I describe symptoms to her she usually is ‘take 2 of these with x and you’ll be better’.) (not that she officially looks after me and slips me prescription meds. Just the odd advil and robaxacet, for when little red sister visits).
She suggested walking in a warm bath, applying topical anelgeisics, and checking on with her in a day or two. She’s sure by the weekend he will appear, and talked me down from a becoming-hysterical mess.

Since talking to her and having bf around after work, the pain spasms haven’t been as frequent. The random flashes of lightening and peals of thunder has re-awoken the ‘what if’ monster in me, but knowing that a few people understand my physical and emotional pain helps a lot. He will come back to mum & da and he will be ok. He will be ok.